Prosciutto … delicious cured ham. Served with maybe some
melon and some breads makes a delicious starter or snack around the family dining
table. Goes well on pizza too.
Heard in Aldershot’s tescos last night as being ‘shall me
get some of that expensive Prosky ooto or just cheap ham?’.
As a much younger child I recall going to a friend’s house
where they serving some lovely cheese and tomato ‘Pizer ‘.
It gets worse. Also a nice delicatessen in Farnham offered
me some Pecorina cheese … now I’m not a native of Italy, but I have relatives
that are and I’m pretty sure no one should talk about pecorina in a middle class
delicatessen. I’m quite broad in thinking but I like to keep my cheese separate
to my karma sutra.
Another one that actually came from a relative of my husband
was the mispronunciation of the word ‘Penne’ …. I thought it was so simple and common
most people would get it right … but this relative has spent a lot of time in Australia
… she elongates her vowels and turned the nice quill shaped pasta into Peeene …
you don’t put pene in pasta .. and if you do it’s because you are a fetish
based Hanibal lecture.
My favourite came from the lovely garden centre in between Aldershot
and Farnham. A well-spoken upper class nicely groomed elderly lady was picking
up Jam jars and reading what they were. The was a selection of Jams from Italy.
In English we often call Jam ‘Preserve’ although it’s quite an old reference
and falling out of favour with younger people. As the fruits have been
preserved it is a jam based preserve. We also think that Italian language is
like English but with an ‘I’ at the end of each verb. So she picked up a Jam
jar which had a lovely rustic picture on it … and shouted to her husband that
there was some nice Italian preservativi for sale. In a garden centre. In surrey? I
think not because on the wall of the toilet of the café in cetona is a machine
that sells flavoured preservativi for men and women to enhance their sex life. They
don’t come in jars.
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